Is it Just Me?

Is it just me, or does Bella speak like a 40-year old woman? Now, I know I am going to anger a few of you Bella fans out there. So, please forgive me ahead of time. I am only on page 91, but I have strong feelings about what I've read so far and I just don't see what all the hullabaloo is about. I certainly cannot think of comparing Stephenie Meyer to JK Rowling like so many have - calling her the USA's version of JK Rowling. She does not have JK's business sense and she is not equal to JK as a writer either. Maybe she has a tangled web she weaves that will all be tied up in the end - whether you like the end of not. I'll have to wait until I get there. IF I get there...

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, it's Stephenie Meyer's first book, Twilight. As most of you know, I just finished reading all seven Harry Potter books, one after the other, and I just loved it. My friend Suzie (hi Suzie), just reminded me how in Harry's early days, I refused to read them, basing my opinion solely on the movies, saying it was predictable. I never realized how much the movie versions left out from the books. I am glad to admit, I was wrong. I am converted and a true JK and HP fan. So, while I am reading Twilight, I am trying to put JK and Harry out of my mind. I am trying to be open-minded, but it has been hard.

First, Bella, has moved in with her Dad so her Mom can be happy following her minor-league-baseball-playing husband around from city to city. Bella, at 17 and in HS, goes grocery shopping without being told, or without having a list made prior by an adult. She cooks meals for her and her Dad for dinner and has them hot and ready when he walks in the door. (I don't even do that most days!) AND she has a repertoire of meals she knows how to make. And I'm not talking about Kraft Mac and Cheese, folks. I mean difficult ones like steak and enchiladas - and no, not the kind that comes in a box. She is nice to boys who annoy her by asking her to the spring dance. She considers their feelings, uses words like... he grimaced... you're utterly absurd... and a host of other phrases that sound more like a 40-year old woman than a 17-year old girl. I have a 17-year old brother and sister. They've never said grimaced or absurd in all their years alive! They might write it in an essay or as a creative writing assignment - but in speaking to another teen?! No way!

Oh! And what about this typo on page 9 at the top of the page... "...it had been belonged to me since I was born." It had been belonged to me??? Ah... I don't think so. It belonged to me, yes. Even, It had belonged to me. But not, it had been belonged... OK, I know that complaint is nit-picky, but this isn't a draft, people! It's a published novel!

So far, I am just not getting it. Edward is mean. He's nice. He's mean. He's nice. I know, I know. You can become obsessed with someone who is mysterious, I get that. But she is already, at such a young age, attracted to a bad relationship. Yeah, they're all pretty bad at 17 - vampire or not. Other than he's beautiful and his changing eye color... I guess that's all it takes to want somebody. I was young once. I kind of remember... Bad boys = hot. Good boys = not.

And so far the only thing that is not perfect about Bella is she's klutzy. Really? Is that all you got? She's way too nice to these people who are her so-called friends. I don't even like them! She's hanging out with them because she has no one better at the moment? I can see how that can happen, but her narrative... it's in first person, so they're Bella's thoughts. At least she can be honest with us there. AND.... what about all the friends she left behind in Phoenix? Where are they? Why are they not emailing her, texting her... come to think of it, does she even have a cell phone? Most 17-year olds have a bff. Being separated from one another an hour away, let alone half-way around the country, would be HUGE in a 17-year old's world! Would it not? Wouldn't Bella being emailing her bff back home? Wouldn't the bff being emailing Bella? That could be where we, the reader, get to hear her normal, true inner thought, about her new looser, but nice, friends, about this mysterious, beautiful boy with changing eyes who drives her crazy. But that's not there? Why?????

WHO GOES GROCERY SHOPPING AT 17 AND KNOWS HOW TO COOK, NOT ONE, NOT TWO MEALS, BUT BUNCHES OF DELICIOUS MEALS? Sorry - just had to let that out. At 17, I considered myself responsible. I knew how to make eggs, and cheeseburgers, hot dogs, spaghetti, baked ziti... even lasagna! But I feel like Stephenie made Bella ULTRA responsible. Adult-like responsible. She could have made her teenage-responsible and it would have been more believable. And I don't know why she chose to do this, or not do this... Yeah, Bella said her mom was absent-minded, but did she suffer a lobotomy? Her dad's been living on his own for-ever, so he must know how to cook a few meals and keep the refrigerator stocked...

Sorry, I am know I am being very critical and I hope this all doesn't come back to haunt me... Stephenie Meyer, I am sure you are a very nice and talented person - the whole world seems to think so - and I only wish you the best... It's just that reading this book has made me think about being a writer and what editors say they want in conferences and workshops and the contradictions between that and what is published. Which bring me back to my biggest problem with the book...

Bella's voice. In case I haven't already made that abundantly clear. I feel like almost every page doesn't ring true for a 17-year old's voice. All I keep hearing in my head are the many times I have heard editors say - about my pages or other fellow writers' pages - This voice just doesn't ring true for a 14-year old, 12-year old... I don't think a 10-year old would say that, do this, feel that... Twilight has examples of this on every page, every narrative, and in dialogue - a 17-year old just not behaving, speaking, reacting like a 17-year old. I just don't get it...

Voice is important. It is the way your story is served. It sets the tone, time, and place of your story. JK might not be the most poetic writer with beautiful, flowing narratives, like Sharon Creech or Pearl S. Buck. But she is a master of voices. She captured every character's voice authentically. I never thought... Harry wouldn't say that. Hermoine wouldn't think that... That doesn't sound like Ron.... Hagrid... Dumbledore... She had each character's voice pegged to the T!

I am just not buying Bella's character so far or the whole Meyer = Rowling thing. Not yet, anyway...

So, be honest. Don't make me cry, but please feel free to disagree with me and try to convince me. I can admit when I've made a mistake. I'd like to hear from you. Does this voice thing get better? Do you begin to ignore it??? Go ahead, tell me how you feel...

I Feel Like I Lost a Best Friend

I think I began reading JK Rowling's Harry Potter about 9 months ago. Admittedly, I was late on the scene. I have seen all the movies and was waiting to read the books when my girls were of the right age. But with the lurking last movie to come out in 2009, I felt I needed to get on with out them.

My goal was to read all 7 books before the Half Blood Prince comes out in theaters. I have more than reached my goal.

Last night, sadly, I finished book seven. *sigh* and it is strange, but I feel depressed. Harry has been a constant beside companion, traveling companion, appointment waiting companion, beach-reading companion since approximately last December. I have read Harry every single night before bed with few exceptions. And now... *sniff* it's done. It's gone. It's over. I really don't know how I am going to go to bed without Harry.

If you've read the books as they've hit the shelves, you've had a very different experience then me. I literally read one after the other. I might have briefly put the book down to read another book in-between that I knew I could polish off in a few days, but basically it has been me and Harry.

It really does feel like an excellent friend of mine is leaving me...

Spoiler below... highlight in order to read...
Well, now that the sniveling is kind of done for now, I'll get on with it. Book Seven was my favorite! It was perfect! True, it was very dark and a little like a Shakespearean novel with all the blood that was shed. True, there were more deaths of major and not major characters than I can keep track of. But even still, it was the most well written, well thought-out, well delivered of all her novels.

There were no pages I thought she could have cut. In books 2 - 5 I felt there were pages and pages, scads of pages, that could have been cut. But in book seven, every page counted and it ended as it should have.

AND... you know how I last said she is unpredictable. I did predict this. I totally predicted way back after reading book 1 that Harry was Voldemort and he was Harry. Of course I didn't know a thing about Horcruxes and that what bound them was a piece of Voldemort's soul, but I thought they shared souls somehow. I knew that it would have to end the way it did; that with destroying one, he might destroy the other. And I knew since book 1 that Harry would marry Ginny and Ron Hermoine, I wondered about Neville and Luna... I also always knew Snape was ultimately protecting Harry. Even when it seemed he had turned truly dark, I maintained that it was an act. And when it seemed he had killed Voldemort, I thought, no.... this was planned between them. It had to be.

I mean I guess everyone probably guessed all of that - that Harry was absolutely connected to Voldemort in some mysterious way, but at least in book seven she made me feel like a successful reader. And this is what we want our readers to feel - rewarded for having read our book(s). Successful in predictions. We want them to feel smart. And finally through all the rigamarole, I did! I finally felt smart.

When Harry marched through the forest to his own demise, knowing he would have to die in order to save the world - the greater good - I was like, WHAT? NO! HARRY, DON'T DO IT! I was angry, thinking, NO JK, You don't have to do it this way. But then I saw all the pages that were still left and I thought, well either there will be life after death or he doesn't die. I did always think that at the end, she had to have the parents come back and Sirius. And that at some point he would be reunited, but still, I did NOT want him to die.

It was fantastic; Harry in the wispy world with Dumbledor and to "be with" Dumbledor again. All that he said, all that Harry said... The squirmy Voldemort-thing in the corner... It was all exactly as it should be. And THEN for him to feign dead, for Malfoy's mother to lie! It was perfect! For sniveling Hagrid with lake-sized tears to carry Harry, believing he was dead. The centaurs in the woods... All of it! McGonagall shrieking in agony at the sight of Harry's limp body... I can't WAIT for the movie(s)! All of it; it was just as it should be!

JK Rowling; You're an amazing woman, an amazing writer, and an amazing business woman. If I should only experience a tenth of her success I will die happy and fulfilled.

But now what to do without Harry.... This is the question.

I bought Twilight today. And I will read it tonight. But it won't be the same. I know it won't be the same...

Is there a club I can join to help me get over Harry withdrawals... HPA... Harry Potter Anonymous??? Like a bereavement group...

The Mayans Loved Trees!

My WIP has a lot to do with trees, so I whenever I can, I read a lot about tree mythology, tree folklore, tree care, interesting tree facts... anything tree I can get my eyes on. If I meet a horticulturist who specializes in trees... oh you can' t imagine the conversations! I had one expert ask me, "Why aren't your eyes glazing over like my wife's do when I talk about trees." And he kept saying, "You're sure this isn't boring for you?" Couldn't he see, I was rapt with fascination! I took notes, for crying out loud! Later that night, I watched as my husband's eyes glazed over with every tree detail. Fascinating! Truly fascinating!

To me, trees are truly captivating. I love learning about them. (Thanks Lainey for your quote, btw... "You can always tell an old soul by how they treat trees.") Trees are important to me. They always have been. I can't really explain why or how this came to be, but it's true. As a young child, I used to play in the trees, creating secret worlds only my sister and I knew about. Under it's canopy I felt at peace and as I got older, I felt (and still do) that I am with G-d when I am amongst the trees.

I began today with something new. Meditation. A few people keep telling me I need to meditate. I'm not good at meditating. My brain is too active and I can't just sit there, thinking about nothing. But, I am also open-minded, so "why not," I thought. "Why not start today?" I began by meditating on the things I am going to give to the Universe so they will no longer fill me with worry or doubt. That actually felt pretty good. There, POOF! Gone. Then, I went on to meditate about what I wanted to accomplish today - which was to answer more questions before outlining.

When I was done, I must admit, I felt focused and attuned. So, I began my research for the day - interesting facts about trees. I typed in "trees associated with evil" and came upon, of course, The Tree of Life - Adam and Eve's Tree of Good and Evil, genesis 2.3. When I think of it in terms of my story.... fascinating!

Then I was lead to the Mayans. I have no idea why. I don't know much about that culture other than what I had to learn about the in the seventh grade. I am not particularly interested or uninterested in the Mayans. To show how little I know... I thought they were a bloody civilization who believe in spilling blood at alters to please their G-ds. But I might be very mistaken. As I said, I never had much inclination toward learning more about their unique civilization.

Almost immediately, my search led to a site about the Mayans beliefs about trees. I was enthralled! The thought that trees could be good or evil was not even a thought until Roman Catholicism - I have no idea why?? The Mayans only saw the trees as sacred and good. Their word for tree was te (T) - which to me is also fascinating - think about the letter T's shape - very tree-like. Or the other word for tree was che. Humans and trees are shown as related in their word baalche meaning "thing of (the) trees."

The Mayans believe Trees first, then animals, then humans. They believed if trees ceased to exist, all life would cease to exist. They knew, even in those ancient times, that the wind from the trees had to do with creating the air we breathe.

The Mayans were convinced trees were a life form that felt reactions similar to humans. The term uahomche (see the word che or tree in there?) means "the tree awakens us” or “we awaken in the tree.” A uahomche was a cross made of our wood, or in the wood of a tree. It seems to suggest that our consciousness lives within the wisdom of the trees.

Another fascinating fact is that every major religion has a sacred tree.

Here's my challenge to you, and no, I haven't gone off the deep end... At some point today or tomorrow, really look at a tree. Spend time with a tree. I know it sounds crazy, but just try it. Read under a tree. Eat your lunch under a tree. Spend some time looking at its bark, it's leaves... I bet you'll feel lifted in spirit when you're done.

Some Things You MIght Know... Some Things You Might Not...

Susan Gray from Gottawrite Girl tagged me and another friend as well! So I have combined the questions and am posting a little from each here.

Instead of tagging people back, I am going to open it up that you can post your answers right here and/or on your own blog. If you want to play along, please answer your favorite three questions in the comment section. Or... feel free to answer them all, if you want!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:44 am
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What do you usually have for breakfast? Fruit & a granola bar or pb & j on an English muffin
4. Favorite sandwich? I hate sandwiches. I would rather eat left overs from last night's dinner then a sandwich. But if I have to eat one, I prefer a roasted veggie sandwich with mozzarella cheese on like a pannini or some sort of flat, crispy bread.
5. What characteristic do you despise in others? Sarcasm, but when it is at the expense of others. I don't mind funny, humorous sarcasm, that is not meant to belittle someone. But I hate when someone is sarcastic to someone else in order to make them look stupid.
6. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? England, Scotland, Whales, and/or Ireland... preferably all in one trip.
7. Where would you retire to? Maybe in the woods like Thoreau
8. Are you a morning person or a night person? I used to be a night person, but having kids has forced me into a morning person... I’m a night person in morning person’s clothing.
9. How are you today? SLEEPY! I've been with three-year olds all morning, saw a house for my other job, have to vacuum and prepare for my third job of the day – tutoring, and then will do all the Mommy things with my own kids – help with HW, make dinner, lunches for tomorrow, etc… Is it time for bed yet?
10. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my dishwasher whirring and my computer humming, the wind chimes gently tinkling from my ceiling fan, and the clacking of my dog’s claws on the wood floors as she patrols.
11. Do you wish on stars? Every chance I get. I also wish whenever I drive through a covered bridge, or on a wishbone, or on an eyelash... I am an ever-lasting, never-ending wisher of wishes.

Thanks for tagging me and consider you're all tagged now! HA!

Not an Outliner, but Must Succcumb...

So, (I start a lot of sentences this way... must break the habit) I have mentioned many times before that I am not an outliner. I blame it on Mrs. Oken - my 9th grade English teacher...

I had a habit (yes, I have many) of letting my English teachers read my poetry and short stories as a way of getting on their good sides. Hey, I struggled for my grades. I needed to use anything I could to get an advantage. Anyway, Mrs Oken, after reading a compilation of poems and stories, asked me to stay after class one day. She wanted to know what my outlining process was and I said... "Oh, I don't outline." And she said, "What? You must! Real writers outline and if you want to be a real writer, you must outline too." Well, I grabbed my papers and puffed out my chest and said, "I just write," and left.

Obviously, this had some affect on me, if here I am still writing about it some er... harrumph... well, a few short years later... And so, I have carried on in my stubborn (but adorable) way of 'just writing.' I hang my head low and must admit defeat... Yes, Mrs. Oken, real writers outline... *sniff, wiping tears*

Truthfully, real writers do a myriad of things. And every writer's process is completely and utterly unique. I have written many times, about owning your process and being proud of it. And I still hold that I am. However, I must admit, the "just writing" process can only take you so far when you are writing a novel, especially if you wish your novel to be one of many in a series. You NEED to outline.

And not that you need to adhere to this outline like the gospel, or that your characters don't have the right to change your outline... but you need a plan, a road map, if you will, something to drive you forward, something so that when you are in the dark, murky depths of novel writing, you can say, AHA! Wait a moment, don't I have that nightlight somewhere! Ah, yes! Here it is, my outline! (I picture saying that in the superhero stance and for some reason I am wearing a cape - I don't know why...)

So, I have begun a pre-outlining process. I actually began it over the summer. Here's what I did...

1. I read from the beginning to my current latest page (pg 85 - which is as far as I got w/o an outline, trying to remember everything in my brain, instead of in an outline...). I took copious notes. I included every time a new character was introduced and on what page. I wrote down sentences that sounded like foreshadowing, or that I definitely wrote as foreshadowing on purpose. I wrote down any objects used by my MC that could have significance and be used later. I wrote down holes in my plot, questions that seemed unanswered, and things that led to questions in general. Finally, I wrote down things I must add/delete/change for subsequent drafts and things I must research.


2. Then I pretended I was each major character and jotted down all the questions I could think of off the top of my head for that character to answer.


3. This week I have been answering all these unanswered questions. Anytime I came to a plot hole, I began by asking more questions... what could T do to stop LB from succeeding? What would happen if T did this... what would happen if T did that... And I wrote it out until I felt it was a satisfying answer to this plot hole or question.

I am just about finished with this ever-growing brainstorming session. Next, I will begin to outline. I will be outlining chapter by chapter, summarizing the ones I've written already and truly outlining the ones I've yet to write. I will want to capture certain aspects, such as... what characters are in the scene, does the scene move the story forward, is there an emotion rise and fall to the scene, does it raise the stakes, does it present more obstacles for my MC or solutions to previous obstacles, has anything been foreshadowed, any objects used or hinted on, etc.

I have read about some choices for outlining on many of your blogs . Now I want to know, what forms work particularly well for you? I've heard of a friend who buys those large desk calendars, you know - the ones teachers use... and he uses each month as a sequence of scenes (this is based on screenplay writing though) There are 12 sequences of scenes in a movie. Each sequence is made up of a number of scenes. I think this could relate though, somewhat to novel writing too. I am a visual learner, so I like the idea of having the whole story laid out before me visually like this... So, let's share... what outlining techniques have worked for you time and time again. Or... what outlining techniques have not worked for you...

It's That Time Again...

My wheels are turning... ... ... ... ...

It's that time again... Goal setting time. Now that the kindelah are back in school, it is mama's time to write. This year though, I am stretching myself rather thin (if only that was a literal phrase...). Anyway, I began a very part-time job last week teaching 3-year olds at a preschool. I applied for the job because I thought the hours were perfect - Tuesday/Thursday mornings from 9 - 12:30. It will let me put my kiddies on the bus, then off to work for me, and I'll still come home with time for either my freelance writing, or my novel writing... grocery shopping, cleaning... what-have-you...

Well! Let me tell you... this was not as easy as I thought it would be. Not the being with three-year olds part. They're adorable and I have no problem handling a room of three-year olds. No. It was just wrapping my head around the fact that I was WITH three-year olds and not in upper elementary school teaching English. I was helping one wee-one in the bathroom, when it hit me... How did I get here??? How did I get from teaching foreshadowing and writing a five-paragraph essay to wiping tiny tushies!!!

I was in a dark place...

But then a very good friend of mine reminded me of all the reasons I took this job in the first place... Remember, she said, it let's you focus on what's most important. Oh yeah! That's right. I took this job so I can be home for my daughters and write my novel! Anyway, the dark clouds (slowly) blew away and I kept repeating my new mantra - this is not a career, it is a job that allows me to be home for my girls, put food on the table, and write my novel...

I think I'm starting to believe it...

But it's hard. Has your life ever wound up in an unexpected place and you wondered how the heck you got there???

Normally, once September starts, I begin my major writing days again. I used to write from about 8:30/9:00 am until about 3:30/3:45 pm. Basically from the time the school bus picks-up my girls to the time the school bus drops them home again, gigity-gig. I would take short breaks for lunch, email and blogging, but pretty much, that was my writing schedule. Now that I have this Tuesday/Thursday morning job... I am worried it will throw my whole glorious writing schedule off.

Plus, the fall is the last hurrah for the real estate market. And I have actually (thankfully!) been busy with my freelance writing. This takes time away from my novel too!!!

Oh and I decided to take on tutoring students too... Well, someone asked me if I would consider tutoring again and I said, sure... what the heck... Well, I didn't say that to their face, but I thought it!

Wait, let me see... there is...

1. taking care of my girls/family/house etc
2. writing my novel
3. freelance writing
4. teaching preschool Tues/Thur
5. tutoring
6. and substitute teaching

NO WONDER I FEEL SO BUSY AND OVERWHELMED!!!

I am going to have to try to sort out a new writing schedule into the above crazy schedule and I can't forget time to exercise also.. shish, are there enough hours in the day???

So this week's goals are...

1. Make a plan Stan! I am nowhere without a schedule. First things first. Monday's already busy with appointments. I have a meeting in the morning, then two MSs to read/critique for a writer's meeting, a student to tutor, and a real estate copy and room-by-room description to write.
2. Tuesday - work in the am, then grocery shop in the pm and finish Monday left overs, if any.
3. Wednesday - Yay, this day is wide open... so I will devote this day to my novel. I will keep the goal of how many pages kind of low because I am just easing back into it. I never write a lot when I am just getting back. So, if I wind up with five new pages that are worthy, I will be very happy.
4. Thursday - work in the am, write in the pm. If any houses come on my schedule this is when I will book seeing them...
5. Friday - Yay another whole day devoted to my novel! Pick up where I left off on Wednesday. Also, if I see any houses on Tues/Thurs after work, I will try to get those copies done in the afternoon so I can enjoy time with my family during the weekend.

So, those are my goals for this up-and-coming week. I have to admit, I am not loving the above itinerary. It feels very choppy and disconcerted. I like having 5 consistent days in a row to work on my writing. But I write best in the mornings. Writing Tues/Thurs afternoon is not plausible yet, as last week I came home from the preschool and my brain felt like it was MIA. Maybe as the school year progresses, I will become less mind-numb on Tues/Thurs, but we shall have to wait and see.

Like I said, I am not too excited by this schedule, but I'll have to make the most of it.

The Best of Summer '08

With a flick of the maestro’s wand,
Summer has come and summer is gone

And with it,
Came its sweetness:

A friends’ book upon a shelf,

Honey and nectar,

The baby doe grazing in our field,

The painted lady upon a purple bloom,

Busy bee, whistling whilst he works.

And the wind playfully stroking the grasses.
They bend. They harken.

They surely reach the sky,

And they whisper a lullaby – for summer soon will vanish,
Like the colors,
Like the flowers,

Like the sandcastles,
Taken back to the sea’s murky depths.

And you there,

beneath the cool water,
How did you learn to swim like a fish?

Red toes will soon become hidden
And crammed into
New and tight school shoes.

Yellow flowers will tarnish and fade.

And you all will be missed,

The blue sky,

the sand, the surf.

We will tuck a memory in an envelop,
And during the somber depths of winter,
We will visit you once again,
And dream,
And wait,
And wonder.
But for now,
The blazing summer sun is about to set

And flashes of your bright and green days
Will whip through our memories,
Like trees and brush,
From my speeding car window.

Good-bye Summer 2008.
It has been wonderful. It has been great!

Hello Autumn. I remember you...
Cool and fresh
Like a crisp red apple,
And the cinnamon scent
Of pumpkin pie.

Enjoy what's left of summer, my bloggy friends!

And join in one of summer's last activities with my daughters, husband and I.

Take a beloved summer memory...

It can be a photo, a drawing, a pressed flower, a seashell...

And tuck it in a sealed envelop.

Do not tell anyone what your summer treasure is.

And in February, during a bleak and dark winter's day,

take out your treasure and share it with your loved ones

and brighten your winter day...

To Be or Not To Be...

I've been hearing lots of comments about "the passive" voice 'to be' in writing. I think I get it, but then sometimes I am about to use the verb 'is' and I think, OH NO! The passive voice!

For those of you who might not be familiar with this... most editors today do not want writers using the passive forms of the verb 'to be,' that is to say, is, are, were, etc.

So a sentence like, We are driving to my sister's would be considered passive because of the helping verb 'are' coupled with the 'ing' ending of the verb 'drive.' (that's a double whammy, BTW) (Personally, we used to call that the present participle and it was fine to use in school. As a matter of fact, we had to learn HOW to use it and were tested on it. And now, we're not allowed to use it...)

So I've been reading up on the Passive Voice and how to avoid it. One article I read was pretty helpful. It stated that most times the verb 'to be' pops up when you are using the object of the action as the subject of the sentence. For example...

Why was the road crossed by the chicken...

In this example the road is used as the subject, not as the direct object.

Why did the chicken cross the road...

Now chicken is in the proper place as the subject of the sentence, cross is the active verb and road is following the verb, as it should be, as the direct object.

This example has helped me most of the time, but not all of the time. When I see an 'is' or 'are' in my work, I stop and ask if my subject is in the proper place. If not, switching it around, is an easy fix.

But let's go back to my original example...

We are driving to my sister's.

In this sentence, We is the subject and are driving is the verb (with helping verb in present participle). How else can you say a sentence like this without the passive voice? First if you delete the helping verb 'are' you can then say...

We drove to my sister's.

or

We drive to my sister's.

It is just more direct, I guess...

When I look at my writing, it is this type of passive voice I am riddled with. I get completely stuck sometimes and can't seem to figure out how to turn it around.

What about you? How do you avoid the passive voice? Do you have any tricks of the trade? Have you been able, at this point, to avoid the passive voice in an almost unaware state? Or do you still struggle to catch yourself in the act???

Here are other writing no-nos

1. The Passive Voice


2. ING endings


3. Adverbs in general. (The thought is, if your verb needs to be modified than you chose a weak verb)


4. (which brings me to...) Weak Verbs


5. Only Use Said (I've also heard you are only supposed to say "said." for example, Joe said. Not Joe exploded... Joe whispered... Joe exclaimed... This one I am not ready to give up. My general rule is, most of the time I say "said" but when it is called for, I used a more descriptive tag. My daughter's teacher last year gave out an award for the student who had the most synonyms for said (my daughter won BTW) and they were not allowed to use the word "said" in their creative writing at all. What is going on? Everything we are taught in school is thrown out the window when you become a writer!?)

What do you think about all these rules?

I don't think Shakespeare, Papa Hemingway, or any of the other great classic writers worried about such things. When did words and parts of speech become taboo?

Adventure Thursday - Cape May

Can you hear it? Can you hear the sound of these baby clams all clamoring to dig their way back into the cool, moist sand? ... the sound the sea makes when it passes over the clams and sand? ...the sound the water makes as it finds air holes and seeps in deep below? Ahhhh... there's no feeling like being at the beach, hearing the sounds of the sea...



Some of my favorite things about the beach...


Toes in sand...


The sound of the rolling waves, the feel and smell of the ocean breezes...

And sunsets reflecting in the

ocean's surface.

Now onto a different topic...

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (book 6)
OK, I finished reading this book while at the beach. I thought this was my absolute favorite. Now, I'm not so sure. I thought perhaps because it was the only book in the series I had read before seeing the movie and so I was able to make predictions and feel that joy of reading. To me, reading is an action-packed verb, not a passive one. It's not just sitting back and scanning your eyes over words. It's thought-provoking, brain stimulating, ponder-inducing... At least it should be.

While reading, I stuck notes in pages making my predictions about things foreshadowed, SURE I would predict the ending correctly. I felt smart.

Here's what I learned...

1. You CANNOT predict the ending of any JK Rowling books. My prediction was dead-on. But what JK does is... well, something like muggle magic. She waves her left hand saying, look here, look here, all the while her right hand is doing something completely different and unnoticed by the reader.
2. While, as a writer, you want your reader to be able to make predictions and feel successful about them, you don't want them to feel, either a.) that the prediction was too easy or b.) that it was impossible to figure it out. There is a fine line here between letting your readers down on either side of this spectrum.

I felt let down.

I am an adult and feel I am astute at making predictions in books and movies. There are very few that I have not been able to figure out. It is like a brain massage for me. I don't want it to be insultingly easy. I want to put pieces together and remember facts and feel challenged. And at the end, I want a pay-off for my dedication and hard work. I want to feel successful. Maybe there will be one or two things that will surprise me, but complete shock! I actually don't like it. It makes me feel like the writer just wrote that ending, was holding out information, and did that only to shock the reader at the end.

For my erroneous prediction, highlight this paragraph (I learned this from Beth) This IS a spoiler to book six... I thought Malfoy was bitten by Greyback Fenrir - the werewolf responsible for turning Lupin into a werewolf. She kept making reference to him and how he liked to bite boys when they were young. It seemed too obvious that Malfoy really had the Dark Mark on his arm and that his master really was Voldemort. Also, it seemed too obvious that Snape was truly on the Dark Lord's side. So it's not so much that I didn't see that coming, as I guess, it was too obvious...

You CANNOT predict endings with JK Rowling. Her endings are so far out of left field, there is no way you can figure it out. And I think she purposefully throws you off by making you think it is one thing and then you find out it is something completely different. For me, I didn't feel like, "OHHHHH! That's what it was!" I felt like. "Now how was anyone supposed to figure that out?" I don't believe she seeds her stories at all and I think she does this on purpose so you can be shocked at her endings. It goes against EVERYTHING we are told by editors. We are told... make sure you properly seed and foreshadow. JK obviously does not do that.

I've been told I will NEVER be able to figure out book seven. At first I felt challenged by those who believed, finally a book will stump me. But now I feel like, yeah, I probably won't because JK doesn't play by the same rules the rest of us play by. Which makes you wonder, doesn't it??? After all she does live in a castle in Scotland. So, she broke all the rules of writing and there she sits on her throne for doing so.

And my last topic of the day...

Danette Haworth's Violet Raines Almost got Struck by Lightning. I had heard it was out in bookstores and so I needed to buy HP Deathly Hallows, so I couldn't wait to see Danette's book there too.

I ran to my local Barnes and Noble and searched the shelves. I couldn't find it. Then I heard, "Look Mommy, isn't that it?" And there it was... on a DISPLAY with other newly released books... FACE OUT! That's right folks, FACE OUT. I took pictures but they all came out dark and blurry :(

Those of you who are not writers, don't understand, face out is a big deal. I've spoken to the lady who runs the children's section of our Borders about this very topic. She told me she is given strict orders how to present books. So, obviously, Borders in NJ wanted it FACE OUT, Danette! I snatched up my copy and the Deathly Hallows and ran to the check out counter wanting to yell to everyone, I "know" this writer. She is one of my blogger friends. You should buy her book. Buy three while you're at it.

Meanwhile, my girls and I put names in a hat to see who got to read it first. I lost. I'll have to move on to Deathly Hallows for now... Congrats Danette! (from Rowling to Haworth...) We are all so proud of you and vicariously living through you at the same time!

Enjoy what's left of summer!

I'm off!

So, I'm off to Cape May, NJ and won't be checking into the blog-o-sphere for a while.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Harry Potter Book. I am almost done with the 6th one - The Half Blood Prince - this is the quickest it's ever taken me to read Harry. Next, the question will be... read the final book, or start reading Twilight...

Have a great week everyone!

Adventure Thursdays (and Wednesday)

Adventure Thursday couldn't be contained into one day this week, so it oozed out onto Wednesday and then carried over into Thursday.

First it began here...

At the Philadelphia Zoo and...

...the incredible dripping tree.

Have you ever seen anything like this? Since my MG novel has a lot to do with trees, I think this was my favorite visual at the Zoo.

But then these were also very cute too...

Thursday brought us back to Philly to this thrilling place...

The Franklin Institute.

Just in case you wanted to know, my body presently holds 20 cups of blood...

The Franklin Institute was chock full of fascinating facts and hands-on touch-me exhibits that made learning an adventure for kids (and adults). After all, it was Adventure Thursday (still wish I could have an echo machine when I type that...)

On display was a real automaton like in Hugo Cabret - one of my favorite books. (But in real life the automaton was a little creepy looking.)

They had so many things to see and do there, I couldn't name them all. My youngest daughter's favorite was the space prep ride - can't recall the real name, but it twisted and turned and spun and I felt sick just looking at it. But screams of joy and jubilation were heard from within the capsule.

The coolest visual to me in the Franklin Institute was the Pendulum Staircase....

Where will our adventures take us this Thursday? Can't say for sure... You'll have to stay tuned to find out.

Hey, check out my cool poll, above to the right... Vote for your fav Harry Potter book. And after, leave a comment to tell us why...

My fav is the sixth book - The Half Blood Prince. I haven't yet read book number seven, so that might change, but for now it is the HBP. Why? Well, it might be because it is the first HP book I have read BEFORE seeing the movie... But I think it is the most well written, the fat has been trimmed, so it feels like every page moves the story forward. I am LOVING it.

When commenting, please don't spoil any endings for those of us whom have not read any HP books yet.

Thanks and Happy Adventures!

Writer Duldrums and Your Starting-outs

I'm having a bit of the writer doldrums. My writing buddy is away in the middle of the woods somewhere with no cell service or computer service. And good for her, she deserves it! She's been away before and I've still done my list of writing goals and gone on without her with no problem. But today is different.

Maybe because it's a chilly Monday for the middle of August and I've been up late and woke early to read The Half Blood Prince - my favorite Harry Potter of all, so far.

But I feel down right down.

Maybe because I was sick over the weekend and my lingering mood is left-over virus, but still... I can't seem to shake my low spirits.

Like I said, I was reading Half Blood Prince this morning and marveling at how JK just keeps turning and twisting her stories and how she never ceases to amaze and surprise me. And then I started thinking about Stephenie Meyer and The Twilight series, and then I started reading all of your lovely blogs - most of you are already contracted and have second and third books on the way, have agents, and editors, and line edits to do, etc. And well, I guess I am having a pity party.

So, I need to turn that around right now... Enough of that! And you can all help me...

See, all of you, including JK and Stephenie, at one time in your career paths, had only a rough idea of your stories. You had a first draft or maybe even a second or third draft and not much more. You didn't have an agent yet, or interest from an editor. We all start out at the same place -- the beginning -- the time before a polished, clean 6th draft, the time before an agent, the time before a contract... I want to know about that time to help lift my spirits and give me hope, remind me that we all begin at the beginning.

So, if you will humor me, remember back, way back, to when this was all just a huge, fantastic dream and you were writing your first novel. Maybe you had never even written one before. It was sometimes a dark and murky experience with flashes of light and inspiration. Can you remember that time?

What did it feel like when you finally finished that first draft of your first novel? What was your big moment like when you knew, after many revisions, that your novel was as good as it was going to get without an agent's notes? When did you know it was ready to send off to an agent? How did you meet your agents? Did they love your story right away, or at first say no? What was the turning point for you when being a children's author became a reality and not just a dream?

If you don't mind sharing, please stroll down memory lane with me and tell me about your starting-outs as writers. I would love to hear about it and know that each of you were once where I stand now, with your nose pressed against the glass peaking in on contracted writer's lives, hoping, dreaming, and praying -- a lot of praying...

Adventure Thursdays

Rebecca reminded me in one of her recent posts that I had made promises. I make the same promises every summer, in fact. And every summer comes and goes and those promises are left as best intentions that paved the way to... well to a very uneventful summer.

Let me explain... we usually can't afford to go away on expensive vacations and we can't afford luxury camps - OK most camps - for our kids. But that's OK. We like being home. However, every summer I say to myself, this summer will be different. This summer I will go where ever my kids want to go (within reason, of course!) and we will take day trips to Philadelphia and go to museums, and to the creek, and the beach... and where ever their hearts desire.

But the summer just kind of takes a momentum of its own and before I know it, there are little more than 3 weeks left and we have done none of those things. So....

We have established Adventure Thursdays (cue echo machine) here at the Oshins' household. There are 4 Thursdays left so each child gets to be the boss of two of them.

Yesterday, we went here...

I always say 'no' when my kids ask to go here. But it was... Adventure Thursday... and Adventure Thursday is all about saying 'yes.' (again, within reason). So, they climbed and jumped and scouted and did all sorts of things.

And then they went here...

And did this...

And this...

And this...

This was so cool! It was a virtual jump rope. A lot harder then it sounds. I didn't do so well on it, but I laughed hard trying!

And then they they bought these with the tickets they won....

I'd say all in all, it was a very fun and adventurous Adventure Thursday. So, give it a try, pick a day out of the week that is a 'yes' day and try to say yes to all the things we tend to say no to. After all, we certainly can't write about Adventures if we don't experience them...

Happy Writing (and Adventures!)

Summer's Almost Over, but it's Not to Late to Enter...

Two Contests to check out...

Keri Mikulski is holding a WHY I LIKE/DISLIKE AUGUST book give-away contest.

And WOW! is holding a flash fiction contest.

Both deadlines are August 31...

Good Luck!

Violent Movies No More and Writing Buddy Goals Week Six

Do you guys subscribe to Netflix? I love Netflix. I really do. I am a total movie buff and have seen so many movies, but my problem is I can never remember the titles months later. So, sometimes I rent a movie I have already seen but won't remember this until some climatic moment when inevitably I will say... "Wait a minute. I remember this movie. This is the one where she is really from the past but stuck in the present and then she kills him and Ugh, I hated this movie the first time I saw it!"

So, maybe I have an early stage of Alzheimer's... What's your point?

Anyway... this weekend was my husband's turn so we watched his movie. Granted, my husband and I have very different tastes in movies. He likes action adventure and I like Sundance winners, or Independents... you know the free-thinking artsy kind of films. Sometimes, I will enjoy his picks and (more than) sometimes he likes mine - although it is hard for him to admit... (especially when he is snoring, but I digress...)

This weekend he chose Untraceable. Have you seen it? The premise is there is a website where some poor, unsuspecting kitten, or human, has been kidnapped and then murdered live on this site; the more viewers, the quicker the animal or person is killed. It was graphic and disturbing to say the least. Of course viewership soars and people are killed more quickly and in more and more gruesome and unthinkable ways.

When it was over here were my thoughts

1. Never again will I give up my time to watch a film about violence towards any living species. I just can't handle it, nor do I want to fill up any bit of my time with these images.


2. As a writer... WHO WRITES THESE THINGS AND WHY???? With all the negativity and violence in the real world, why devote your talents to producing more of that in forms of "entertainment?" I just don't get it. I want my talent to have a positive affect on people, not gross them out and think we live in a sick and twisted world. We do, unfortunately. That's true. But which came first? Once we started putting this stuff all over TV, movies, books, we became desensitized to it. And, in my opinion, as a result, our world continually grows in violence at an alarming rate.


3. I'm now scared of all of you! I'm kidding of course, but shish, this movie was all about your vulnerability BECAUSE of the Internet and blogging... It's made me re-think a couple things about blogging and being so reachable online... *shivers*

What I concluded (and I told my husband this too), I will no longer give any of my time or energy to watch unnecessary violence in movies. I am just not interested. I feel like I have to protect my... my... energy, if you will. I will no longer welcome that into my "space." Does that make sense? I have been doing everything in my power, reading, meditating, surrounding myself with like-minded people etc. to create a positive world in which to live. I don't need a movie to then take that away, even if for just two hours.

WEEKLY WRITING BUDDY GOALS

I have given up forcing myself to do what doesn't come naturally to me. I write September to June. I always have. And I don't think that will ever change. I love having the summers with my kids and I want to continue that.

For the remainder of the summer, I will be focusing on researching and outlining and I feel good about that. So, here are my goals...

1. I need to outline and research this week about my "other world" in my story. I was told by Agent Guy (and yes, he did have some valid and not so hurtful things to say), that my fantasy element is not fully realized. And doggone it, he was right! So this week I am going to really delve into my "other world" which has been staring me in the face all this time. DUH! This is where my fully realized fantasy world can live. So I need to figure out: A) how to get there that doesn't sound too much like taking a narcotic!!! B) what everyone's forms will be when in that realm C) how to fight my antagonist in this realm without Harry Potter chasing (no easy task...)


2. Honestly number 1 will take up most of my week. But I will be plugging away on research. I need to find out more about specific trees... i.e. medicinal uses, mythical connections, and what pests are particularly dangerous for them.


3. UGH! Finish my daughter's dresser. Last week I let that goal go to the dreaded, ever-present, unspoken goal of WEEDING!!!! The weeds have taken over my life! But this weekend, my husband and kids had the backbreaking task of once and for all getting ahead of the weeds! And I must say, we did. We fought and prevailed! Our flower gardens are beautiful once more. Yay! So back to the dresser. I need to: A) buy white and pink paint B) put on a layer of crackle glaze over the black paint. C) apply white paint D) apply pink paint in key areas E) sand in key areas to give it that antique look F) buy new knobs G) put knobs on.


4. Buy locker organizers for child #1. A middle schooler this year and a soon-to-be locker owner. Child #1 will definitely need organization things as this is cherub's number 1 issue. She has picked out something she loves in Pottery Barn, but yikes the price! So off to surf looking for something similar but not so pricey.


5. Make sure backpacks and lunch boxes can withstand another year of abuse and if not replace. Last year I waited too long and everything was back ordered until December. Not this year, I'm on top of it!


6. ENJOY the summer while it lasts. Soon it will be gone.

And those are my goals for this week. But let's discuss how you feel about watching violence in movies and TV. Do you think it is in some ways more acceptable in books because it is your own imagination putting in the gore and details? Are you not bothered by it at all either way? What do you think?

Happy Writing Everyone!