Take me with you. Fly me away from here to warmer places on the shore.
We can look for periwinkles, white spindles, and lions paw.
It can be so grand, just you and me in the sand, sun and sea.
The sun can't be too far away For I heard birds singing today in some nearby tree, building a nest for his sweetie.
He called, "Pur-dee, Pur-dee, Pur-dee," from the top of some barren Sycamore.
With calls of flattery to his mate it reminded me that spring won't be too, too late.
You and me, Well, we don't even have to talk. Just take me with you to the sand, sun, and sea.
Let's dine on oysters and wear their pearls and when the sun makes it way back to here I will return. I shall return.
I had two houses to see today for my freelance writing job today. And although it's been raining all day and it is quite grey and dreary, I heard birds singing in a nearby tree. And it in fact did sound like he was saying pretty, pretty, pretty. It made me smile.
There is no rhyme or reason to living with S.A.D. Some days are good. Some are bad. You just take it as it comes. And I find on the days when I have to get out of the house, when I have no choice, those days I am better.
But still, I cannot wait for spring. I miss the warm sun on my shoulders.
The water rushed in through windows and under door jams.
I must get to higher ground, she thought.
She climbed onto chairs, counters, tables but still the water rose.
Seeing no possible alternative she succumbed to the rising waters. At first the cold stole her breath and made her lips draw a thin, straight line. Quickly it rose to her thighs, waste, chest, forcing her to suck in her stomach so as not to touch her skin to her cold, damp clothes. The cold made it difficult to breathe. She gasped like a fish upon dry land and decided to fight. But it was too late.
Her dressed spilled out like liquid fabric around her--floating, billowing. She waded through the force of the water searching for higher ground. She found the stairs and once on dry risers she took them two at a time. She ran to her bedroom where she always felt safe before but the water swirled in anyway. It found her and continued to rise.
There was no relief from the water. None at all. Her bed. He bookshelves. The top of her desk. The water rose to meet her no matter how high she climbed, no matter how hard she wanted to fight, the water fought back harder. Finally, she had no choice but to tread. Her arms and legs circled until they could no longer function, aching from the strain.
At last she gave up and became still. Her arms and legs. Her chest and feet. All still. The stillness was heavy and so she sank. She sank to the soggy carpet that used to be the floor of her bedroom. She sank down the stairs that she used to trot down to breakfast in the glorious morning sunlight. She sank to the wooden floor of the kitchen where she cooked many meals for her family.
Although strange, there was no denying how peaceful it was. Quiet. Life moved in graceful, liquid slow-motion. She knew she couldn't hold her breath for too much longer and she knew there was no higher ground to swim to any longer. So she did the only thing she could do. She took in one last, long, watery glance of it all--her home, her hands, arms, feet, legs. Her life. Her. And then all that was left to do was to take in one large gulp of water.
Something happened. She wasn't quite sure what exactly or when it all began but something had changed. On silent padded paws, winter had broken into her sleep in the middle of the night and stolen her voice. And without a voice, she had no words. And without words, well, I don't have to tell you the horrors of a wordless world, do I?
But still, when did it begin? Bit by bit, piece by piece (no, that's too cliche... try again...) But still when did it all begin? October. Yes, it had to have begun way back then when the leaves had turned to amber and the evening sky to velvety shades of fuschia, purple and midnight blue. October had become the month of death since her mother passed away nine years ago. And yet every October, she was surprised when the sullenness overtook her. (Too dramatic? But it's true... stick to the truth).
Then came November, the month that's all about family. (Family.) What is family anyway? Biology that binds? Does it really? Blood is thicker then water. She knows many who would beg to differ.
December. More cheerful holidays that drive suicide ratings higher then any other month of the year. (Don't worry, there's no suicidal tendencies here). But December is more for her then holidays and forced cheer. It's the month they shared a birthday, she and her mom. December 28th. She remembers a time when she hated that fact, when she selfishly wished she had the day all to herself. But she was a little girl then and didn't really know what she was wishing for. Until now. Now that her birthday cakes just say Happy Birthday with her single name in curly blue cursive. Plenty of room for all the words to spread out.
January. Can anything be more depressing then the world growing older during a time of the world's recession? 10% of Americans are jobless and losing their homes. She could be one of those. Every day debt collectors calling asking for payment from money she does not have. Last year she worked three jobs, sometimes even more, to make ends meet. This year she lost 2/3 of those jobs and a perspective one. Two losses even happened on the same day. That day was extra special. (Too sarcastic? Too angry?) But it was still summer then and the summer sun had a way of transposing her to the Land of the Lotus Eaters and maybe there was no need to worry. Things work out. They always do. Now she's not so sure.
But then, as it always happens, October after October, and way leads unto way, worry, fear, and depression all move in, unpack and settle in for the long barren winter to begin. She remembers now, yes, that's when it all began, as it always does, in October when at first it's too subtle to notice and she still has some fight in her. Like the trees holding onto their chlorophyll before they succumb and become naked under winter's merciless wind.
As usual, it's so insignificant at first, just a cell here, a membrane there. A hair follicle. A toenail clipping. And then scrapings of flesh, pieces of flesh, chunks. And then it preys on her soul, her reason, her purpose, her goals, dreams. Until one day she looks in the mirror and notices she has simply vanished. She's become a missing person. M.I.A. (Be careful, don't get too melodramatic).
But wait. Listen. Shhhh. Somewhere deep inside of her, rattling around in her ribcage a songbird sings. You can still hear it if you try. There. Just beyond the heartbeat. Yes, the heart still beats. And just beyond it, listen. Do you hear it? The tiny woodland bird that will come home soon to nest in the early frosty spring. He still sings in her heart. But there is a disconnect. A wire left dangling from a fierce and mighty winter storm.
She has a friend, many friends, but this one friend said something that stuck, something that beckoned the sinews to work overtime. She said, One Hour at a Time.
One Hour at a Time. She can do that. One Hour at a Time. February's almost done. March is long and scary. But remember. One Hour at at Time. And then April. April with crocuses and tulips and life prevails once again, pushing its way through the defrosting ground. Buds on trees appear, birds come home to nest, bees buzz. Even the insects are missed and loved because on their dusty translucent wings comes her friend and saviour. Spring. (Corny, yes but all of it true).
Every New Year, and sometimes for the Jewish New Year too, I post goals and resolutions and set new deadlines for myself. I look back and see if I met any of the goals listed the previous year. I see if I've grown or learned anything new and I reflect on what I want to discover about myself as a writer and a person for this new year.
But this year, I am not sure I will do that. I'm not sure why exactly. It's not that I am taking some stand against resolutions because I'm not. Resolutions are just goals and I am all for goals.
So what's with the silence this year? I keep pondering this one myself. I think it's because I have the same goal I have had for a few years now so why write it? After all, it's embarrassing to have the same goals year after year. Isn't it???
So why write it and tell all of you?
I suppose to keep myself honest. I suppose to keep myself on track. I suppose to remind myself that even if it takes me 50 years to do what some can do in just a few short years, they are still my goals, my ambitions, my dreams, my desires and they deserve my recongnition and attention.
So, here it goes... Once again, my goals for 2010 are to polish this latest draft of OW and get an agent who believes in my work.
I would also like to outline and write at least the first draft of my next YA novel and outline my sequel to OW.
PHEW! There. I did it. A bit like pulling off a band aid. Quick. Maybe a little painful. But much relief now that it's done.
There's something to be said about this time marching on business that makes me feel so low about my goals still being my goals. Somethng about how that makes them feel so unobtainable. Something about the fact that my goals haven't changed much and so it feels like I am spinning my wheels. It feels embarrassing. They feel unconquerable.
But truthfully I know better.
I know that I have learned with each draft I write. And time marches on with or without you so even if your goals haven't changed it is important to stay in the game, to pick up those drum sticks, don that marching band feathered hat, and march on brave writers. March on!
Happy New Year everyone! And as always, Happy Writing.
Notice my wall is becoming more pink and less orange.
Also I added my cast (just in case my book ever becomes a movie... =] )
WORD COUNT: As of today, Monday November 16, I am up to 14, 475 words.
Goal For This Week: I have to write 2,960 words a day in order to reach 50,000 words by November 30th - that's with taking off on Thanksgiving and the Friday after. If I succeed at this goal, I will reach 32, 235 words by Sunday. Which means I will have to write 17,765 words the final week of November - Again, at 2960 words a day, it is plausible.
Downside:My downside is also an upside... I begin a brand new job tomorrow. My training will, however, demand a full work schedule for the last two weeks of November! But that's OK. I will have to write at night when I come home - that is, if I don't have to study for the test I have to pass at the end of training. But again, I will make time and make it work as best as I can.
NaNo was a way really of making me reach my goal of this 7th draft being ready to go so I can start querying agents Jan 1, 2010. So, not that I am giving myself an out, but I do have December to reach my personal--albeit, not NaNo--goal.
Upside: I learned something HUGE this week.
I CAN outline.
I love my outline
My outline can grow and change as I grow and change. (It's becoming pinker by the day - pink index cards mean polished - another not-a-NaNo-goal)
AND... I put a common theory of revision writing to test tonight and lo and behold, IT WORKED!
What's the theory? Some writers believe when you write a brand-new draft, you should never look back at your old draft again.
Sounds scary, right? And a little crazy like reinventing the wheel. BUT... the theory is, all the good stuff from the previous draft will stick with you, all the yucky stuff will be forgotten, and new stuff will emerge.
So, after a little "whine" while trying to merge two old chapters and add new info and yet keep to my short chapter page lengths, I decided to give it a try. I shut down the old draft and just wrote. Seriously, 15 minutes later, I had 1,097 new words, all shiny and sparkly.
Robert Olen Butler - From Where You Dream - you are becoming my new god and bible!!!! It worked, people! It really worked.
Look, Mommy. A rainbow! No, it's not a rainbow, darling. It's a writer's hard work.
Yes, that's right, that which you see before you, is my story from beginning, middle, twist, ending, including the rules of my world and its fantasy elements in all its color-coded glory. It's a beauty, isn't she?
This is a HUGE breakthrough for me. Me, who said she was an organic writer. Me, whose taken, ahem, $^@(@ years and I am still writing the darn thing. Me, who had all these holes and thought, well, when I get to that part, I will just know what to do.
BUZZ! No. Wrong answer.
An outline is your friend. Embrace the outline. Love the outline. Beeeee the outline.
Okay, maybe I've gone a little loopy from all this NaNo stuff (which reminds me, I better keep this brief!) But I've done it. I've really done it - an outline in a living, breathing format that can grow and change as my story grows and changes. I love my outline.
I've always wanted to do this, but I never wanted to put tape on my wall or I thought it would look messy or I was afraid of strangers coming in my office and seeing it and wanting to read it. Gasp!
BUZZ! Again, wrong answer.
If you see something in your mind, if that little voice in your head says, I really wish I could display my outline on my wall so I can stare at it from time to time, read my whole story from beginning to end in five minutes... if you hear a voice in your head telling you your creative steps, then you need to listen, folks!
And listen I finally did.
Wanna know my color-code? Pink are my polished chapters. Orange are chapters from a previous draft, yellow are brandy-new chapters and the green and yellow mess to the left... those are the various rules of the various fantasy elements in my story.
TaDAAA!!!!! And there you go, a living breathing outline that I can change in a second flat if need be. Now, I better go stare at it some more and get on to my NaNo word count. THE END, here I come!!!!!
What I Accomplished Last Week: 7, 664 words and a lot of whining!
Downside: I am not off to a good start. All that NaNo hype and I am behind!!!! I just couldn't get out of my own way this week, nor could I get myself started. Which, is really weird considering, I was SO psyched and ready for NaNo. The truth is, two weeks before NaNo began, I fell into a serious case of the blues - it was the anniversary of my mother's death, I am dealing with some finacial difficulties, I've been looking for a job (like the rest of America) and have not been able to find one (like the rest of America)… Anyway, by the time NaNo actually began, I was a deflated balloon. I've been trying to blow myself up again, but I think I have a slow leak somewhere that needs patching… This week, my goal HAD to shift. I had to find a job. And I did. Huzzah! So, NaNo took a back seat. BUT… I also recognize that I allowed it to take a back seat and did not sacrifice in anyway. I didn't stay up late. I didn't wake up early. I just allowed my time to silently slip away. Bad, bad writer-girl!!!!
Upside: I learned a lot about myself and the length that my negative voice will go at self-sabatage - (it will even make unnecessary gynocologist appointments to avoid writing. Imagine that! A story for another time.) Anyway, the positive is, I'm on to you, negaitve voice, and how you'll stop at nothing to stop me. So, I am constipated in the creative sense. I've had a daily dose of prunes and well, sorry, but I'm waiting for my writing to run… (Ok, I'll stop with the bowel analogy and get on with it.) The true upside is… it's a new week and I can catch up, eventually. And my true goal is not in the word count. It is in reaching those elusive words… THE END!!!
Ready for the ride, the thrill of a challenge, the excitement of a goal??? Well, ready or not, here we go! Today is November 1st, and for many of us that means our lives are no longer how we know them. For this month, we will live, eat, sleep, breathe NaNo.
So, if you are up for the challenge of writing 50,000 words in one month, then you will need a plan. Will you write 1,667 words a day, or do more during the week and less on weekends? If you don't know, then I suggest you figure it out and fast, because all successful NaNo experiences happen with a plan.
For the next month, I will be posting my progress weekly. Notice my NaNoWord-o-meter is back on 0... Throughout the month, hopefully, we will watch it grow until I reach goal of 50,000 or a completed 2.0 draft, whichever comes first!
For those of you who are also NaNo-ing this month, I wish you good luck! And for those of you who are sitting this one out, I say, Bok, Bok, Bok, Bok, Bokkkkk! No, I am only kidding. I would never squawk like a chicken at you... But to all, enjoy the view because sometimes it won't be pretty or for the faint of heart. There might be elation followed by depression, followed by breakthroughs, to plateaus... but no matter the emotion of the week, one thing's for sure, writing is like a roller coaster. So strap down that harness and heeeerrre..... weeeeee.....GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Becky is one of my first blogger friends since 2007. She is also doing NaNo this year and recently blogged about something I didn't realize just might be a NaNo phenomenon. It's called...
NaNo Nesting! Do you suffer from NaNo Nesting? Becky's desk is just so and she even outlined! (Sorry, Becky... I outed you.) It was last NaNo that I wrote my very first outline as well, always believing previously that I was an "organic writer." Organic shorganic. When you are writing fast, you need an outline. You don't want to turn up to your computer and waste precious moments trying to figure out your MC's next motivational turn. But this is not about outlining or organic writing. This is about NESTING and like Becky, I am beginning to feel the pangs of needing to nest...
On my list of preparation for NaNo is cleaning my house if you can believe that or not. I want to wash my floors, dust, organize, recycle, get rid of clutter, do a very thorough vacuum in those nooks and crannies sometimes forgotten....
It's not just about the outline, it's preparing for a life event. Like I am saying to my family, Look, I'm not really going to be available the whole month of November. You may see my body sitting here in front of my computer, but I will only be a figment of your imagination. The house is clean now - keep it that way!
That's not to say I won't drag the vacuum or scrub a toilet or sink for the entire month of November. Ewwww. That would be gross! And it's not to say that I won't be there to share meals with my family, help with homework, or tuck my kids in, BUT...
NaNo is like preparing for a birth, isn't it? Becky's already named hers. Me, I'm still kicking around a few ideas but nothing rolls off the tongue quite right.
...If only there was a baby naming book for books...
Do you nest before beginning a new book or a new draft? When I finish a draft, I always purge my office before beginning a new draft. But NaNo just seems, well, bigger. And so my purging has extended beyong these four walls.
What about you? Do you NaNo nest?
(I wonder if next year part of my nesting preparation will include making meals ahead of time and freezing them.... Now, that's an idea! NaNo 2010, look out! By then, I will have this down to a science.)
Today, I was over at Kathy Temean's amazing blog and was touched by inspiration on a day when I really needed a double espresso shot of some. Kathy's the RA for the NJ chapter of SCBWI. We are so lucky, here in NJ, to have her as our fearless leader and awesome cheerleader.
Well, today she was writing about a new book by Jerry and Eileen Spinelli entitled, Today I will. It has inspirational quotes meant to inspire daily writing exercises, ending with a daily promise, Today I will...
I fell in love with the idea of a daily promise.
This made me stop and think. Because so far today, I was wasting it on negative chatter in my head. When I read her blog posting I thought to myself, Now wait a minute! Cut that out! I scolded myself, Would your daily promise be, Today I will beat myself up?
No. Of course it wouldn't. We would never promise ourselves things like that, but I bet there are a few of you out there, like me, who do from time to time, unknowingly, spend the day with the negative voice in your head (No, I am not pschotic). I would even go so far as to say that WE ALL, from time to time, fill our heads with negative chatter and beat ourselves up over things we cannot change - essentially, wasting the day and our time. So, Kathy's blog made me Stop, Drop, and Write my daily promise. (I wonder if you can also write a promise of what you WON'T do).
Here are my promises for today...
Today I will write new pages to my WIP.
Today I will meditate.
Today I will find peace and carry it with me.
Today I will thank Flo for talking me off that ledge once again.
And I just have to do a NOT one... Today I will NOT allow negative chatter to fill my head.
Truthfully, you're only supposed to have one Today I Will per day, but once you start... it's like eating potato chips...
What's your daily promise for yourself today?
And while I'm here, I thought I'd remind those of you who might be sleeping under a rock or living in a cave....
ONLY 13 MORE DAYS UNTIL NaNoWriMo!!!!
I am so excited.
My genius husband created this phenomenal Excel spreadsheet for me to keep track of my daily words, total words, percentage done, percentage remaining... It does everything but write the story for me. I think I am going to use NaNo for two things - one for my WIP just to get me to the end - so for that I won't do a 50,000 word challenge because I don't need it. AND either for the revision which I already started OR for a brandy-new story... I can't decide. It's like trying on shoes and making yourself buy only one pair. Impossible!
OK. So, I am a child of the 60s and being a child of the 60s means that I grew up with flower children and hippies. I heard new songs from the Beatles and the Rolling Stones air on the radio. I wore bell bottoms and blue suede shoes. I had a shag haircut (and later a Dorothy Hamill haircut). I wore moccasins as shoes and I had an Indian fringe suede jacket and....
I know what The Point is.
The Point by Harry Nilssonwas my favorite record to listen to when I was a kid. I knew all the words by heart and when I got a dog I felt was mine, truly mine, I named her Arrow. Then they made The Point into a cartoon narrated by none other then Ringo Starr. Oh, happy day!
I wanted to share with you, the wisdom of Rock Man and one of my favorite songs, Think About Your Troubles. Whose the boy's voice, you might wonder? Why that's Bobby from the Brady Bunch, of course!
Now what does this have to do with writing for children? What's my Point? Well, my point is two-fold. First, we authors come from a certain time and place. We grew up a certain way. We had certain experiences. And all of these things add up to our perspective on the world. They add up to our voice as a writer and that voice comes out of our MC's mouth.
This brings me to the second point. Our MCs come from a different time and place. S/He grew up in a different way. S/He had different experiences and therefore has a different perspective on the world.
How do we merge the two? My MC would certainly never have heard of Harry Nilsson's The Point. Many of you probably never have. But it shaped me. What shapes my MC? How do I have her voice and my voice? Well, you can disguise your voice as your MC's voice. That's one way to do it. But I think there's another way, a better way.
I like to have an adult in my story. An adult full of wisdom. And some of that wisdom is my wisdom. I can sound like an adult through this adult character and that is where my perspective can be heard.
It's still my MC's story. It's still her voice. And I need to know her perspective. What music shaped her? What philosophies color her world? What music from her generation will stand the test of time (or not). Pretend your MC is your own child. Let them have their own voice, but see if you can get a brush stroke in there every now and again that's yours.
And hey, whatever you do, no goofin' with the bees.
Excited? I am. I can't wait. Oh, that reminds me, I need to get my husband to get my Word Count Excel Spreadsheet a little more user friendly for me, though, this year.
Wait! Stop the train! You've never heard of NaNoWriMo? How can that be? Okay, I'll calm down. After all, I had never heard of it until last year either. So, here's what it is... It's a challenge. You like challenges right? Especially writer challenges, right? Well, then. This one's for you!
National Novel Writer's Month, or affectionately known as NaNoWriMo, is held every November. All you have to do is write 50,000 NEW words in one month's time. Oh, just that... WHAT?! I know. It sounds impossible. I felt that way, too. But no sweat. Believe it or not, it's doable. I came very close. I think 46,000 or 48,000 words...
The point of NaNoWriMo is not to worry about quality but to focus on quantity. Sounds backwards, right? The truth is, there's a time and place for everything. Revisions are for quality. In the words of Richard Peck, revisions are where real writers shine.... Okay, that's not a direct quote, but he said something like that at the SCBWI NJ June Conference this year.
Here' how NaNo can help... If you struggle to finish drafts, NaNoWriMo is for you! You don't have to post your new pages every day. I didn't. And don't worry about someone stealing your precious MS. When you do post, you can use the encryption button in Word. It garbles your MS up to nonsense but keeps the word count the same. What you do is you write forward. That's it. Sounds simple, right? But we all know that writing forward is sometimes the hardest thing to do. We want to go back and edit and tweak and find that perfect word to capture that pivotal moment. Again, I say, there is a time and place for everything. When writing an early draft, that is NOT the time to tweak. All you need to do - the hardest thing ever - is to write forward and do not look back.
Over at Rebecca's blog, they are discussing using NaNoWriMo to finish a project or begin a new one. I've been debating this myself lately too. I am on my sixth draft and about to begin the next revision of my WIP. This revision, I hope, is the draft that will be ready to show to agents.
However, I also have several other stories I have been outlining, but have always forced to take the backseat to my current WIP. I am thinking I might use NaNoWriMo to get a first draft done so when I do shop for an agent I will be able to say, here is a polished MS and here is a first draft and outline for another project.
Last year people told me starting a new book is the biggest kind of writer's block you can do to yourself. But I think this depends on where you are in the process of your current WIP. I don't think your should leave a project in the middle. But between drafts... I think it's a good time to get time and distance from your story. In fact, I think time and distance is just what the writer-doctor ordered.
Will you be joining NaNaWriMo this year? Will you start a new project or finish that current one?