Ebb and Flow

Relationships flow like water in and out of my soul.

The dynamics rise and fall like the ebb and flow of the ocean tide

The surface seems calm while the currents churn up the ugly depth as the undertow pulls you in deeper and deeper still

Unable to resist, you surrender to its predictable tide you read, like the clock on the kitchen wall, whose round face mocks out its minutes, for whom the bells tolls.

You and I fully know.

Excerpt 3

I totally forgot to post my next excerpt on Sunday! Sorry. My mind has been on other things.

Today, I am off for an MRI. My Grandma was a breast cancer survivor. My mother, not so lucky. But she died from another type of cancer. Did you know some cancers travel together. Like cancer cohorts in crime. So colon, breast and uterine travel together. What that means is, once two of these show up in your family history, you are just as susceptible to the third cancer even if no one in your family has had it. So, I am regularly checked for all three. And today it's time. So into the scary, loud tunnel I go.

For those of you whom have never had the wonderful opportunity of experiencing an MRI... It is like being in a coffin while restless Natives are doing some kind of loud drum ceremony. OK maybe that is a result once again of having a writer's brain. But nonetheless I am terrified of that machine and it is what I have to do today. So, I exhale deeply, and leave you with this excerpt from my middle grade novel.

Because of my non-working brain on Sunday, I am posting Thursday's post early to make up for it. Hope you like it...

Excerpt 3...
True, he clenched his jaw tight, and didn’t say anything, not even the common muttered reply he gave everyone else. But he did look up at Uncle Billy. And true too, it was through a furrowed brow. But the two of them locked eyes. As a matter of fact, they looked at each other for maybe a whole minute. Then Uncle Billy turned and positioned himself in an opposite corner of the room beside Mr. Laramie – who was eating a pastrami sandwich and wearing Russian dressing in the left corner of his mouth. I wanted to give him a napkin, but I couldn’t move from where my feet were firmly planted in the flower patterned rug in the center of Grandma May’s living room.

Habits and Taxes

I think this post got buried, so I wanted to post it again because I think it has a lot of useful and important information. So here it is...

Today I wanted to post about two kind of disjointed topics, and yet, can be connected if you squint and tilt your head to the left... First habits... I read this article recently about habits and willpower. The study said that people are unsuccessful in changing their ways, even those facing death, when they try to change their ways alone and based on sheer willpower. And I started to think about my own life... trying to lose those stubborn 10 – 15 pounds... I was never successful at this. Except for one time when I joined a gym with a very pushy friend who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Well, sure enough when I went back to reading, the article said, real success in change comes from seeing someone you admire make that same change and you think, "If she can do it, then so can I."

And then I thought about my writing... and about my writing group... And I thought, yes, this is why it is successful! See, about a year ago, I constantly complained that there wasn't enough time to write, that I didn't have enough energy, that I didn't have enough stick-to-it-ness. And yet I said I wanted to be a writer. But I barely put in the consistent time. Then I met my friend Leeza. Anyone who knows her knows she is full of energy! She gets so much done you can't help but catch it when you are with her. She really inspired me to dig deeper, to make a commitment once and for all, no excuses.

Then I started the Hunterdon County Children's Writer's Group, where I've made such special connections and friendships. And suddenly, BAM! I am writing every day (unless I have a "percolation period" I will never call it a writer's block again - too negative a connotation). Once I surrounded myself with writers, I truly became a writer. I write every day. I read every day. I have a job where I am paid to write. It is incredible!

The study is true. If you want to change a habit, surround yourself with people who are living the way you want to live, and before you know it, you will barely remember your old and tired ways.

Now what about taxes... Well, incase you have been living under a rock - It's tax time boys and girls and our government can be very kind to us artists. So, if you haven't spoken to your tax guy (or gal) about legitimate write-offs, maybe you should! As writers, we are allowed to claim a loss until we get published! I did not know that until today. I mean I knew we could claim a loss for a couple years, but not until we get published. I don't claim a loss because I am paid as a freelancer (not much, but... it's not a loss).

You can also write off dues to professional organizations, like SCBWI, and any workshops or conferences you attend. The purchase of the Writer's Market, or other such necessary books, postage for submissions. Paper. Ink. Office supplies. I even learned today, if you need daycare or childcare because of your writer/artist ways, you can write a portion of that off too. You needed a new printer, computer... write-off.

But be careful.

Find a tax accountant who really knows the law for us creative folks. Don't do anything shady and save, save, save those receipts. You can NEVER be too careful. Every little bit helps when you are in a profession where you may never see a substantial paycheck.

This is where habits tie in... you should make it a habit of collecting your business receipts and reporting miles. I have a folder I keep on my desk labeled 2008 Expenses. Every time I need to purchase something writing related, it goes right in the folder. Then before I meet the tax guy, I total them all up and put them on an excel spread sheet.

It doesn't take much to organize your expenses this way, but the benefits can be huge. So habits and taxes can go a long way.
Sheri ks, ks

We Interrupt this Dream and Excerpt Number II

The winds were howling last night as I sat in bed reading Harry Potter 4. I finally turned out my light to go to bed at around 12:30 am. At around 3:00 am I was suddenly very awake for no apparent reason. But as I sat there, listening to the wind, I heard my main character speaking to me. Don’t worry I am not psychotic. It’s a job hazards of being a writer. Right???

So I laid there in the dark listening and it was revolutionary. My main character was telling me about her father and uncle in the story and why they hated each other. I thought I knew why they hated one another, but as I listened, I learned there was much more to it then I realized. Afraid I would never remember all of this in the morning, I went downstairs, bleary eyed, toned down the brightness of my computer screen and got right to work.

I was done around 6 am. The house was still and dark and I was finally sleepy again. I had written a whole undiscovered chapter to my novel just like that. The experience was so surreal. I really don’t think I had anything to do with the words that flowed through me. I felt like a conduit for my main character. I have heard of this sort of thing happening to other writers. I have always hoped it would happen to me. I go to sleep each night and say, OK T. Come to me tonight and tell me more about your story, with the hopes that tonight will be the night I dream about it. But until last night, it has never happened. Only I didn’t dream about it. I was woken up.

It was an amazing experience. I hope it happens again and again.

So here is Excerpt Number II. Again, not wanting to give away too much about my novel…

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, not knowing what to do. I think he wished he had some words of wisdom to help Papa. I think he lingered because although he wanted to help, he didn’t know how. After all, his wife was still alive. They had been married for 40 years.

“I brought my famous lemon meringue,” said Mrs. Laramie a little too cheerfully. She left her husband to place her pie next to all the other foods everyone brought. Maybe she thought she could bake words of wisdom into her pie.

No one could imagine what Papa needed at this moment. Not even me. Most of all not me. But I knew it wasn’t baked into some dessert or in anyone’s words of wisdom.

Happy writing everyone!
Sheri ks, ks

Habits and Taxes

I missed Thursday and was going to post this on Saturday, but heavy winds knocked out my cable and Internet service…

So today I wanted to post about two kind of disjointed topics, and yet, can be connected if you squint and tilt your head to the left...

First habits... I read this article recently about habits and willpower. The study said that people are unsuccessful in changing their ways, even those facing death, when they try to change their ways alone and based on sheer willpower.

And I started to think about my own life... trying to lose those stubborn 10 – 15 pounds... I was never successful at this. Except for one time when I joined a gym with a very pushy friend who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Well, sure enough when I went back to reading, the article said, real success in change comes from seeing someone you admire make that same change and you think, "If she can do it, then so can I."

And then I thought about my writing... and about my writing group... And I thought, yes, this is why it is successful! See, about a year ago, I constantly complained that there wasn't enough time to write, that I didn't have enough energy, that I didn't have enough stick-to-it-ness. And yet I said I wanted to be a writer. But I barely put in the consistent time.

Then I met my friend Leeza. Anyone who knows her knows she is full of energy! She gets so much done you can't help but catch it when you are with her. She really inspired me to dig deeper, to make a commitment once and for all, no excuses. Then I started the Hunterdon County Children's Writer's Group, where I've made such special connections and friendships. And suddenly, BAM! I am writing every day (unless I have a "percolation period" I will never call it a writer's block again - too negative a connotation). Once I surrounded myself with writers, I truly became a writer.

I write every day. I read every day. I have a job where I am paid to write. It is incredible! The study is true. If you want to change a habit, surround yourself with people who are living the way you want to live, and before you know it, you will barely remember your old and tired ways.

Now what about taxes... Well, incase you have been living under a rock - It's tax time boys and girls and our government can be very kind to us artists. So, if you haven't spoken to your tax guy (or gal) about legitimate write-offs, maybe you should! As writers, we are allowed to claim a loss until we get published! I did not know that until today. I mean I knew we could claim a loss for a couple years, but not until we get published. I don't claim a loss because I am paid as a freelancer (not much, but... it's not a loss). You can also write off dues to professional organizations, like SCBWI, and any workshops or conferences you attend. Postage for submissions. Paper. Ink. Office supplies. I even learned today, if you need daycare or childcare because of your writer/artist ways, you can write a portion of that off too. You needed a new printer, computer... write-off. But be careful. Find a tax accountant who really knows the law for us creative folks. Don't do anything shady and save, save, save those receipts. You can NEVER be too careful. Every little bit helps when you are in a profession where you may never see a substantial paycheck.

And habits can tie in to this topic because... you should make it a habit of collecting your business receipts and reporting miles. I have a folder I keep on my desk labeled 2008 Expenses. Every time I need to purchase something writing related, it goes right in the folder. Then before I meet the tax guy, I total them all up and put them on an excel spread sheet. It doesn't take much to organize your expenses this way, but the benefits can be huge.

So habits and taxes can go a long way.

Sheri ks, ks

Dogs and Deadlines

My eldest daughter's dog, Luke, taken by my youngest daughter... He's a tenacious Cairn Terrier

I'm back... and not just blogging on my regularly scheduled day, but in writing too. I have been in such a writer's block for about a month - a very painful, long month. At first I thought it was my nerves before meeting with an editor from Penguin to discuss one of my books. Or maybe from preparing for the SCBWI workshop. Or maybe I was burned out from reading so many MS's a day. I am in two writer's groups, plus the small group I was placed in for the workshop, brought my reading load to 13 MS's or more to read in a week. Looking back, no wonder I was blocked.

But the words are flowing once more and I am thrilled. The sun is shining. It is warm outside and supposed to stay that way for a few days. And you can just feel, spring is a month away. Something internal has clicked on. My family and I went for a long walk along the tow path of the Delaware River today. I love walking on the river, but it's been too cold. Luke, the cairn terrier pictured above, doesn't walk so well on a leash. But Kenzie, my trusty collie/shepherd mix is, of course, perfect all the time - except when she blows her coat twice a year...

So what it is that brought the words back? Who knows? Maybe it ran its course like some word virus. Or maybe it's having a deadline. There's nothing like a solid deadline to kick things back into gear.

Perhaps there's more to it then a simple deadline, but I do have a looming Monday deadline and I knew I had to pump something out or risk losing out on a deadline. So I decided to re-read last week's pages. I prepared myself to throw 90% of it away, but was surprised that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. While in my blocked state, I couldn't see the forest through the trees, or the words through the pages. And then seeing I actually had something to work with, I relaxed and wrote forward. This is not to say that I will not become blocked once again and fail to believe in my process. Whatever it is that stops me or allows me to write, one thing's for sure - it just feels so damn good to be back!

Here's the best way I can describe what I was recently experiencing... when I am blocked, I feel like I am over thinking every single word. I feel like I force the words. And the best way i can describe it, is I feel like I am writing from the front of my brain, where I believe the ego lives. But when I am truly in a writing zone, it feels like I am in a trance, like I am writing from within a very deep inner self, one that is not conflicted by ego or over thinking things. Yesterday, without agonizing over it, I just naturally fell into that inner core.

So what is it that stops me from reaching this core, and what is it that allows me to reach it at other times? I have no idea! I hope with time and experience I will learn to control it and not the other way around. I will learn to trust my process and know that at the end of every writer's block, comes a flood of words.

So, the sky has parted and the heaven's sing, Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

What do you do to get yourself through a rough bout of writer's block?

I am going to start a new Sunday tradition. I am going to include a short excerpt from my novel, but nothing that can kill the buzz or give away too much of the story. Just a line or two, or perhaps a paragraph at the most that I feel proud of for one reason or another. So, here it goes...

Excerpt 1: It felt like time held its breath, as Grandma May’s lacy curtains stood rigid against the breeze from too much starch. It was as if the onlookers were watching a play with a cast of two: me and Papa, not sure how this story was going to unfold, but sure it wouldn’t be a happy one.

Happy Writing Everyone!
Sheri ks, ks