Writing Exercise - Adding Layers

On my other blog, The Hunterdon County Children's Writer's Group, I try to give writing exercises once or twice a month. So, I thought this week, I would post it on this blog as well.

This month's writing exercise is all about layers and meaning. Here are a few sentences that you will have to add the layers to, and give the sentences their meaning and dimension. You may use gestures (let's keep this rated PG-13 or lower please), one or more of the five senses, props, etc.

My favorite example of this I know I have used before, but I think it is a point well taken...The simple scene is... a man and a woman... a girl and a boy... a frog and a turtle... You decide.

"I love you," he said.
"How nice," she replied.

Can you say, BORING! It is not the words alone that paint a scene, it is all of the above mentioned that give a scene it's meaning and tone - the layers.

So what if the lines were set up and delivered like this...

The gymnasium was disguised, but not well. The streamers and balloons, disco ball hanging from the ceiling, the D-class garage band on the stage, it was all supposed to make us feel we were anywhere but in the HS gym. But we were not fooled. Well, maybe I was... just a little.

Maybe it was the low lighting, or maybe Peters really did spike the punch, but when Cindy pressed her way through the crowd and made her way next to me, my heart leaped to my throat.

Act cool, I told myself, but I just couldn't. She was there for punch. Not me. Her dress, the lighting, the way her silky, blonde hair cascaded downward as she reached for a plastic, pink cup... I don't know what came over me.

Actually I didn't mean to say it out loud. I only meant to think it, quietly, in my head. But there they were - my words fell heavy, like a ton of bricks, and remained thick in the air, "I love you," I squeaked.

She froze. Stood straight. Turned and looked me in my eyes. I froze. Panic surged from my toes to the tips of the hairs on my head. Her cell phone rang. She reached in her purse and checked to see who was calling.

"How nice," she said flatly as she flipped open her Envy. "Oh-my-gawd, Jen, you'll never believe what just happened..."

OK so now's your turn.

The phrase is...

"I love you," he said.

"How nice," she said.

How can you set this scene by adding layers? Don't worry about the word count. It can be tailored to fit a PB, MG or YA novel, poem, whatever... or don't even be concerned with your target audience. How can you put the meaning behind those simple words? It could be requited, unrequited, or not even heard... you decide.

Post your short story in the comments section. Oh and the due date... let's say by May 20th.

Happy Writing,
Sheri

Hey Everyone, CHECK IT OUT!

My facilitators and I have formed a new blog! It is for, but not limited to, the writers of the Hunterdon County Children's Writer's Group.

I formed this group about 10 months ago when looking to join a writer's group and could not find one.

But I couldn't run the Hunterdon County Children's Writer's Group alone! We have about 40 members and 6 talented and dedicated facilitators who all run their own smaller groups, focusing on writing and illustrating for children.

It is a brand-new baby blog, so check it out. And please visit us often.


But I have to share...
Have you ever done something, you, at first, were terrified to do, but then you were so grateful you did? Forming this group is that thing for me. Without sounding too egotistical, I have to say, I am really proud of myself for the formation of HCCWG. I did something I thought I could never do.

In my last posting, I talked about listening to the Universe and walking through open doors. Well, forming this group was one of the initial doors that opened for me after joining SCBWI. And it had HUGE pay-offs. Once I made that first scary step, so many other things started to happen. Not to mention all the souls that it brought to my life that I needed to know and who needed to know me.

Now here I am ten months later, running this group, with the help of my wonderful facilitators, meeting with wonderful writers almost weekly, and blogging! Now that's something ELSE I thought I would NEVER do!! I didn't even know what a blog was and why one would need one. Now, I am addicted! I think I have a problem. Is there a Blogger's Anonymous, or a 12-step program for me to join? Like, right now, for instance, I should be making dinner for my family, but, instead, here I am blogging! I need to set my priorities!

Anyway, I want to hear from you! What are you proud of? What was a door that opened for you, that you might have been scared to step through at first, but now you are so happy you did? Let's discuss!

Sheri
ks, ks